Reacting emotionally, even to a minor degree, being sensitive to what somebody says and getting upset because you didn’t like it, or you felt insulted, has a profound effect on the other person.
You may be correct that what they said was inappropriate or, you may have misinterpreted. Please understand, your opinion of your reaction may not be the same way other people see it. In other words, maybe they really did say something rude or wrong, but maybe you interpreted it that way even though it wasn’t meant that way, so your reaction does not make sense to them.
The problem is that when one gets upset on a date, or is sensitive and the mood swings, that makes the other person develop a fear of saying what they think or speaking openly because they see it’s dangerous and easy to make you upset by something innocent or accidental.
In order to prevent creating fear in your date or partner, remember that nobody is perfect in being able to always say exactly the right thing. Sometimes we say things without thinking and put our foot in our mouth. Instead of getting upset, if we would just laugh at the misspoken words, that would create a safer environment for everyone.
When we say the wrong thing, and realize it after the words are spoken, our next emotion or reaction is dependant of the response we get. If that is anger, we may defend or feel bad and make it worse, but if it is an acceptance that we just said something stupid and moved on, we would laugh together, and that opens the heart to each other.
“When you learn to laugh at yourself, you will never cease to be amused”
We all say stupid things, and as soon as it’s out, we know we screwed up. At that moment, the mind freezes and tries to determine what it should do next to recover. The next thing we will say is determined by the reaction of the other person. Therefore you are in control of how the next moment goes based on your reaction to everything the other person says. This is true power, if you are willing to use it wisely.
“Accept Full Responsibility For Everything In Your Life” ethicalism.org
In part 2 of this article, we will look at one of the biggest turnoffs or red flags when we’re dating.
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