People want to be who they are, and get what they want. That makes sense obviously, however, do you really want what you think you want? Do you really believe what you think you believe?
All our opinions and values have been taught to us by our country, culture, movie stars, Oprah, etc. But is that right?
Ultimately we all want love and a companion, so it’s about time for all you single people to find what is blocking that from happening, and change it.
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When we look for a potential partner, we want them to have the same values we have, common values are important to getting along, again, yes that is logical, but again, what are the values we need to keep? Maybe there are some values we should keep like no physical violence and fidelity, but there are others that may need to change depending on who you are with.
The question is; are our values valid and should we stick with our values or, should we realize that perhaps our values are flawed?
For example and I mean that, this is just one example to make the point, there is a concept common to some cultures that a man must pay for absolutely everything for the woman from the moment they start dating. Even if they do not live together, he should buy her makeup, cloths, anything she wants, even the dish washing liquid.
They feel that if a man will not pay for every single thing it means he does not love her. Even if he pays for many things, expensive things, if he will miss out one tiny thing, then he does not really love her.
They want to be treated like a princess in order for them to feel love for a man. Of course, who would not like that, but is it right for all men to have to be this way? Yes, men in the same culture might agree, but that limits her choices drastically.
Of course, this principle goes both ways, not just putting a man and a woman in these roles, I am just using this example.
It could be a woman wants independence and insists on paying for her share, cutting the bills in half, but the man is old school and wants to pay for her, at least most of the time, or that they just do little things for each other without counting.
My point is, if you have opinions and values that rule out certain potential partners because they do not fit your exact desires, you have to rethink the way you define the show of love.
There is a concept about the five languages of love. But why should there be only five? Why not a melange of different languages into one? Why not be multilingual?
If you are fixed, you have narrowed your potential in finding a partner to your rules, and will miss out many great partners who just do things a little differently.
The bottom line is, there are so many different ways of doing anything, of showing love, of sharing a life, of right and wrong in dating, that if you stay fixated, then you are like an old and stiff tree that eventually breaks and falls over in a strong wind.
We need to be flexible, which means ever growing and learning about love, dating, relationships, cultures, everything in life. If we want a life that is exciting and fulfilling, and most importantly for your own self to keep evolving and growing until the day your body finally gives up and dies, have NO OPINIONS and just deal with whatever comes like the infant who knows nothing and has no boundaries, and you may find that another way is even better.
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