Telling other people what to do, even for the simplest things.
The reason that some intelligent people with a lot of worldly experience or those who are highly educated are often so unpleasant to be with, is that they are ‘know it all”.
They know so many things and become very controlling, always telling others what to do because they think, and often do, know better.
But they lack patience and acceptance of other people, blindly ignoring that everyone has feelings and can think for themselves, and that with their constant directions, they become quite obnoxious.
Dictating every little action and commenting on every thing that is happening or needs to be done, to whatever extent, and being demanding of what they want, almost treating everyone as their servant and second to their desires, is a trait that some successful and highly intelligent people who are of a controlling nature have.
In order to succeed in this world, one has to be quick and sharp, catching every little detail and knowing the right or best thing to do at every moment, and taking action. Their mind works much faster than the average, which is why they get the positions that are higher than others.
Of course, not everyone who is very smart or successful is this way, and there are some less intelligent or less successful people who are just as pushy, but I have found this negative quality more common in people who are in the upper levels.
As a past master of this very negative characteristic, now being reformed after decades of hard work, I can say that it makes sense they are that way actually.
Our work here at RelationshipCoach.com is to help people overcome their flaws so they can have a better relationship, or at least get one that lasts, so we encourage everyone to watch themselves for this flaw, because even if you think you are not this way, you may be, or at least be that a little.
Examine your actions, and ask your friends and family if you have this negative trait, to any degree.
EXERCISE
If you are infected with this controlling nature, you must work diligently to suppress your desire to tell people what to do. Simply, do not speak even when you have the urge. It takes effort, but in time you get a new habit of holding back rather than just blurting out what comes to your mind.
Be patient to ask for what you want if someone is busy and wait for them to have a free moment.
The rule to live by is;
If it’s not crucial that they need to be corrected or told what to do at that moment, then stay quiet and let them be. If they have not finished speaking or doing the task, then don’t assume they will forget a part or screw it up and interrupt their thoughts or actions.
Wait for just before the mistake happens, to be sure it will, or if not dangerous, then let it happen, before correcting anyone.
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This is such good advice David – I know several people like that & practice active listening with them…pay no attention to their advice & just let them ramble on about how they think you should live your life.