“You remind me of this guy that I fell for (or rather felt a deep connection with) when I first got into the online dating scene..”
I’ve had women tell me this, which is a quote from one woman I met on line, and have heard an almost identical comment many times. Men do the same thing.
You must NEVER compare the person you are talking or chatting with to another person you knew or dated. Wouldn’t that make you feel bad to hear that you remind your date of this other person they dated, or loved?
It makes the previous one the standard that every new person is compared to. This makes them a sort of second choice, or at least will create that sub-conscious feeling.
A comment like this will normally make anyone feel very insecure. There are so many subtle destructive things people do and do not realise.
It is actually quite an interesting correlation to the spiritual principle that to be happy, one must be present. Before you speak, be present enough to imagine how you would feel to be told that very same thing.
To feel secure in your relationship, you need to feel that you are the one and only one that your partner is thinking about. This is what everyone wants.
Yet, so many people will say things like this without realizing that they are destroying the very thing they want. When people say they cannot find love or a partner who is devoted etc, they do not realise that they are responsible for destroying that possibility.
By saying small things that reach a persons sub-conscious mind and create doubt or fear which makes them hold back from being totally open and devoted is putting pinholes in the ballon of love so it can never hold the air and get fully inflated.
Increase your chances to building and keeping a loving relationship by stopping yourself from comparing the new to the old.
If you want to make your next relationship as pure and wonderful as your first, you should both have the following attitude.
Be as virgins. Yes, your past relationships have formed you into who you are, but they are past, and some things in life are best forgotten so that you can look forward. See yourself, and speak as if, you are both virgins, that there was never anyone in the past, and that this is your first relationship.
With this attitude, your heart and mind will be so pure, like a teenager who has not been burnt, hurt, abused, and all the other sad yet common experiences that inhibit us from opening our heart fully and purely to the new chance of love.
You will find your next connection brings the emotions and feelings that you long for. If you are already in a relationship, start today to adopt this ‘as virgins’ attitude, and you will find that eventually, a feeling of comfort and satisfaction with each other grows and allows passion to return.
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Thank you, very beneficial.