We all have morals, but of course everyones morals are different. This is not an article about right and wrong, morals and values. It is about how your mind works and what you are doing to form your own subconscious emotional reactions, i.e: craziness.
We must start with establishing a few bullet points:
- Jealousy is something we all have at some level.
- Lack of trust is the basis for jealousy.
- Our experiences form our beliefs and expectations of what will happen, or what we will imagine is happening.
- Jealousy makes us act unreasonably and often destroys our relationships.
- Honest people trust everyone, liars and cheats never trust anyone.
The biggest common fear in a relationship is that your partner will cheat on you. This fear is sadly reasonable in our world today as cheating becomes more common place. However, it is not an inevitable reality. If you want to prevent something from happening, you must know its cause and prevent the cause from triggering the result. That is what we will discuss here.
There are many causes of relationships failing. This article focuses on jealousy as what pushes your partner away.
Have you ever met anyone who is insanely jealous or distrustful, or perhaps you get that way? They look for trouble, always distrusting, constantly trying to catch you out, to find where you are lying, so they can prove you are lying or cheating, even if you are the most upstanding and honourable partner.
This can be so tiring that you cannot stand being in a relationship any longer with this crazy person no matter how great they are. And so, the inevitable end happens yet again. Alternatively, if you are the distrusting one, you eventually get tired of meeting cheating partners, even if they never cheated, and give up hope of finding a real love.
We are not here to discuss how to deal with a distrustful partner. This article is talking to the part of you who is distrustful so you can fix yourself and stop pushing your partners away. Let’s now discuss the reason you may often try to find the lies.
The Cause Of The Fear
When you do something that you know is wrong, something that has hurt you before and you do the same thing, it registers and effects your subconscious. In this case, we are talking about cheating, both if you are cheating on your partner, or if you are single but knowingly being the partner of the one doing the cheating.
It may have happened, that your partner cheated on you so you had an affair to get even, or you met someone who was in a relationship and you wanted them so much you willingly had the affair. However, you know how much it hurt you to be cheated on, and yet you did exactly the same thing to someone else.
Since you consider yourself to be a good and honourable person, you imprinted your subconscious with the belief, through the proof of your own actions, that even the best people cheat. You have now set up the belief system in your own deepest subconscious mind that obviously if the best people cheat, then you know that everyone else will.
Having created that firm belief, you will never trust any partner you have. If you find one who is perfect in every way, the odds are that you will be even more certain that they are cheating since they are too good to be true and you can’t find any evidence. That will make you so paranoid that irrational behaviour becomes the norm.
This is why people often run away from the rare chance of meeting someone who is ‘too good to be true.’ Making a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Humans have a very skillful ability to ignore their actions and morals just to feed vengeance. Sadly, you may blind your eyes and thoughts to the objective reality of a persons actions, and replace that with your opinion of how things should be done or what you imagine is happening. This means that the more you distrust, the more narrow and closed your mind becomes, ever more limited by your own fixed opinions, false as they may be.
If you want to love openly and fully, to have a relationship with trust and harmony, never pushing your partner away with insane jealousy, then you have to live your life by the highest moral standards and never do what you do not want to happen to you.
If you do it, then you will think everyone else does. Even if you do not do it, of course others may, but at least you will not push away the good ones who are honest and loyal.
If you have already behaved badly in the past, you need to really repent in your own mind, know how wrong it was, and vow to never do that again, so you become worthy of your partner treating you with the respect you want. Accept that you have created your own distrust in others, you are paying your ‘karma’.
The final step is to know that you made that mistake, that you are a good person, and that humans make mistakes but if they sincerely regret what they have done, they are worthy of a second chance.