In our daily life, from the big goals and desires right down to the smaller things we want to have or achieve, failure is far more common than success. Why is that?
The reason is, freedom to choose means that our weakest parts will win.
The saying; ‘A chain is only as strong as its weakest link’, is very true. Willingness to endure difficulties, is generally the weakest link in the human personality.
Every highly successful person will attribute their success to the willingness and endurance to push through the most difficult times.
Napoleon Hill wrote in his book ‘Think and Grow Rich’ the story of a general who crossed the sea with his troops and when landing secretly on the enemy land, ordered the ships to be burnt, so that they had no choice but to win, or die. That book is actually a very spiritual book, a philosophy of life, and not just about making money.
When we have choices, it is too easy to give up and quit. This is the point of commitment.
In the times of Henry VIII, there was no divorce, so marriage was well thought out, theoretically, to make that the choice a good one, since there was no option of divorce. As we know, he executed enough wives, the Church decide to allow divorce. A large reason marriages fail if there is no infidelity or other blatant misconduct, is because there is an option to get out of your commitment.
A commitment is not a commitment if there is an out clause.
When I started my first business, I invested every dollar I had, plus I took a bank loan for $100,000 more than my investment. I had no choice but to make that business work, or I would be totally wiped out. That sort of pressure does not always work out well for people, but the point is, when there is no option, you will put in your best efforts.
It is not a matter of succeeding or failing, my point is that the vast majority of times we fail, is because we have an option to get out, and so we do not take the event seriously.
The real failure is the failure to put in full effort.
If you want to run your fastest, and I mean the fastest your body is capable of running, have a man eating lion chase you. That is when you will really put in your best efforts.
This article may not be the magic words to get you to be able to make a true commitment to anything, but at least, you should know that when things seem too difficult, or hopeless, the first place you should look for the cause of the problem, and a solution, is yourself.
Join the discussion
Dear David, thank you for this article. It is very good to remember that a commitment is not a commitment if there is an out clause. However what happens when the other party changes things? For example, if the time promised by my supplier to deliver a product or service is blown out far beyond the initial date then the commitment has already changed and so I must adjust. Perhaps this is when you look at the strength of your commitment and remain committed even through changes on the other side?
Ande, thank you for your comment. I do love getting questions from my readers 🙂
That is a difficult situation, and one that is related to business as in business, people are very often unreliable. So I will first answer in relation to business. If one party does not keep their side of the agreement, then there is no reason you should either. So yes, you need to adjust your position.
But if it is in a relationship, then you have to consider the many factors that could be involved. And in some cases, it is good to stay with your commitments, and hope that in so doing, your partner will realize their mistake and correct their actions. But the caveat is, if they keep repeating the same misgivings, then it is time to give up.